How to Write an Obituary That Honors a Life

Where to Start With an Obituary

Most people are asked to write an obituary only once or twice in a lifetime, usually within a day or two of losing someone, so it’s normal to feel unsure where to start. An obituary is simply a way to share the news and tell the story of a life, and a short, heartfelt notice is always enough. This guide walks you through what to include, how to write it, how to format and publish it, and what a finished obituary can look like, so you can focus on remembering rather than writing.

What to Include in an Obituary

An obituary usually includes a few standard facts along with personal touches, so readers know your loved one a little better. Nothing is required, so include what feels right for your family.

The Essential Details

Most obituaries list the deceased person’s full name, any nicknames, age, city, and the dates or years of birth and passing, along with where the person lived. Some families may omit exact birth dates for privacy.

Life, Family and Survivors

The next section is often a short biographical sketch. Families may want to list their loved one’s education, career, military service (if a veteran), hobbies and faith tradition, as well as a list of those family members who died before them (preceded them in death) and survivors (those who live on).

Service Details and Donations

If the family has a definite place, time and date for the visitation, wake, funeral, memorial service or celebration of life, these details are usually included. Many families also list the name of the clergy or officiants for the service. If no times have been finalized, they usually mention the name of the funeral home handling the arrangements and a line saying, “Arrangements will be announced at a later time.” Since most funeral homes have websites, family and friends can check there for more information. This is also when families list where any donations can be directed, as in, “In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to XYZ.”

This is a simple sequence and families will have the option to revise or correct the obituary before it’s published.

The easiest way is to open with the facts. Example: “John Richard Doe, 75, of Oakland, CA died Wednesday, July 8, 2026, at his home.” So: name, age, city, date, place of passing. That helps readers know they’re reading the correct obituary. Include the day, date and year so anyone searching online doesn’t find someone else with the same name who died at another time. It’s also useful in the years to come for those doing genealogy.

Tell the Life Story

Most family members want others to know their loved one’s story, so they add life details that help readers get to know the deceased person. People often add details about their loved one’s birthplace, education, military service, career and the things the person loved. These details offer a fuller picture of the person.

List Family and Survivors

Next, most obituaries name immediate family, including spouses, children and siblings, those who survive and those who preceded the person in death. The order is flexible but it’s usually written along these lines: “He is survived by his wife, Jane Doe; children, John Doe Jr. and Mary Doe Smith, both of Oakland, CA; his brother, Robert Doe, and sister, Elizabeth Doe Jones, both of Oakland, CA; and seven grandchildren, nieces, nephews and many friends. He was preceded in death by his parents, Bob and Sarah Doe.” This helps readers know if they’re also acquainted with any family members.

Add the Service and Closing Line

Close the obituary by adding service details and an optional final line, a favorite saying, a thank you or a request for donations. However, a simple closing is enough. If the service details or celebration of life details haven’t been hammered out yet, just add that the funeral home will announce arrangements at a later time. This is also where people list where memorials can be made, or offer a verse, reading or other closing, if they wish.

Formatting, Length and Where to Publish

Where you publish an obituary may determine the length. If you want to put it in the local newspaper, keep it to about 150 words, since most papers charge by the column inch, whether in print or online. A funeral home usually lists obituaries on their website free of charge, so you can include more details, up to about 450 words. You can publish the obituary in more than one place or publication, if your loved one had friends or family in another city. If you need help submitting the listing, our Oakland team will be glad to help you do this, and will add it to our obituaries page so the Oakland and East Bay community can see it.

Obituary Examples and Templates

A simple fill-in template helps most families get started writing an obituary. Example: “John Richard Doe, 75, of Oakland, CA, died July 8, 2026, at his home. He was a retired engineer with Boeing. He is survived by his wife, Jane Doe; children, John Doe Jr. and Mary Doe Smith, both of Oakland, CA, his brother, Robert Doe and sister Elizabeth Doe Jones, all of Oakland, CA and seven grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents, Bob and Sarah Doe. The funeral will be held Saturday, July 11, 2026, at 11 a.m. at Chapel of the Chimes Funeral Home in Oakland. Burial will follow in the Chapel of the Chimes cemetery.”

A warmer version might read, “Oakland lost a beloved citizen on July 8, 2026, when John Richard Doe died at his home. He was born June 30, 1951, in Oakland and received his B.S. Degree in engineering from Stanford University. He retired from Boeing as an aerospace engineer and loved fishing in San Francisco Bay. He is survived by his wife, Jane Doe; children, John Doe Jr. and Mary Doe Smith, both of Oakland, CA, his brother, Robert Doe and sister Elizabeth Doe Jones, all of Oakland, CA, seven grandchildren, nieces and nephews and a host of friends. He was preceded in death by his parents, Bob and Sarah Doe. The funeral will be held Saturday, July 11, 2026, at 11 a.m. at Chapel of the Chimes Funeral Home in Oakland. Burial will follow in the Chapel of the Chimes cemetery.”

Either tone is respectful and dignified. It’s all about what your family wants to share and what best reflects your loved one.