Ben Wu
Eulogy - Memories of My Mom, Eva Wu
(Part 1) I’m Ben, Eva Wu’s youngest son, and I want to share my memories of Mom, 我的媽媽.
My mom was a wonderful mom, 我媽媽是一个好媽媽 and I loved her fully. Although her death is devastating to us, I feel comforted by my clear memories of her and what she meant to me.
My mom was my first and lifelong teacher. She taught me everything from how to ride a bike, to how to negotiate with contractors, to how to buy a house, to how to be a good husband. I appreciate all that she has taught me.
My mom was a brave and successful mom. She immigrated to the United States when she was a young 36 year old with us three children in tow. Imagine going to a new country without a job, without much knowledge of the language, without much of anything really. How brave do you have to be to do that? Through sheer determination, she became successful in family, career, and resources. She truly lived the American Dream.
My mom was a courageous mom. When I was maybe 9 years old and she was about 40, we got trapped in a small upstairs room in our old house on Lower Grand Ave. The door could not be opened, and there was no exit except through a window 3 stories above the ground with nothing between the window and the ground below. Courageously, she climbed out the window without any ropes or safety devices. She braced herself between 2 walls with her arms and legs and slowly climbed down 3 stories. I was hysterical as she climbed down and frankly would probably be more hysterical if I saw that today.
My mom was an incredible advocate for the family and always looked out for our interests. She truly wanted the best for us and was willing to immigrate to a foreign country to do so. She encouraged me to apply for an internship and later a full time position at the Port of Oakland which I’m truly thankful for as that set me up for a long, steady, and amazing career. If a family member becomes enmeshed in a problem, she will always try to help fix the problem whether through time, effort, or resources. She always tried to gather us children and grandchildren to spend time with each other whether that’s dining at the local Chinese restaurant when my elder brother came into town, taking us on vacations to fantastic locales, or simply celebrating the holidays together. I hope we can continue to do so, with extended family and partners.
My mom did not back down when faced with adversity. She was once involved in a lawsuit where the other side had much more money and resources than she did. Her mentor at work told her that no matter what she spent, the other side could easily double or triple that amount. However, she simply did not back down when she knew she was right. And it worked. She won.
My mom tried not to burden us. She respected that we have our own lives to live and didn’t give us additional burdens to deal with. She exercised often and kept in shape to delay us from taking care of her as much as possible in old age.
My mom liked to give me rooster themed gifts. I was born in the year of the rooster, so throughout my life, she gave me a plethora of rooster themed gifts. Figurines, pendants, paintings, news stories about roosters. I still have many in my home.
